Wallow or Learn . . .

on April 11, 2007

I have been sluggish and depressed today. Who am I kidding. I’ve felt that way for a week or more. I feel like I’m in fog and the only thing I really want is chocolate. Real chocolate. Really – I think I ate a good half pound of chocolates – maybe a pound. That damn Mrs Cavanaughs 50% off chocolates. Part of me is ready to swill down in to self loathing and hatred that I’m so familiar with. Part of me wants to step back and analyze it.

I did go to the gym for a light workout after work. I still don’t feel 100% (I don’t know if its because of the sugar overload or because I’ve been sick) so I didn’t overdo it. But I got a good 45 minutes in and my spirits lifted significantly. Hopefully now I can at least analyze my behaviors without self incrimination.

I’ve been craving sweets. Umm – I’m been binging on them too. Why?
1) I haven’t felt well. Sugar and simple carbs in the past have been instant gratification for a “feel good response”.
2) I haven’t slept with my C-Pap machine in a week because of the sickness. My body is grasping for instant energy as well as the “calm” that simple sugars bring.
3) I have been eating sugary cough drops and other easy carb foods the last week so my body is in the craving mode. Much like an addict coming off a high and wanting more to keep the “high” up.

How to break out of this cycle?
1) I took the first step by moving (going to the gym) and getting some endorphins so I could step back and think clearly.
2) Need to take a break from simple carbs for a couple days to get them out of my system. My body needs complex carbs and proteins to build back up real energy. I’m denying them – I CAN get sweets if I want them. I’m choosing to nourish my body with what it needs.
3) Get a good nights sleep with the C-Pap machine so I get real recuperative sleep.
4) Make my 10 minute relaxation/visualizations a daily priority. Make and keep the appointment with myself.
5) Work in some exercise – even if only for a few minutes. My body deserves to move.


2 responses to “Wallow or Learn . . .

  1. Erin says:

    Simple Carbs are my enemy too. But they just taste so good. Plus they are way easier to eat since they are so readily available. But still…keep going strong! I have so much faith in you and I know you can get over a down week.

  2. empresshmc says:

    You silly thing! How could you have had a blog this long and I not know it? Beast that you are, you never told me! I love it, and I don’t want you to work to be witty and cute, because you already are. Just be you! We love you the way you are (simple carbs, cravings, and all).

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