Some Things Come Softly

on May 16, 2007

About a year ago I came across a movie on the Hallmark Channel called “Love Comes Softly”.  I didn’t know it at the time, but it’s based on a book by Janette Oke who I think invented the Christian-Fiction-Romance genre.  I don’t know that for sure – I just think she did – much like Al Gore thinks he invented the internet.  As I watched this movie I was immediately sucked in and emotionally manipulated until the very end when I was screaming at the TV “You fool — the letter is on the ground!!!  The letter is on the ground” tears freely streaming down my face and sniffing back the snot.  I love this movie!   I’ve seen it three times on Hallmark and purchased the DVD and loaded it on to my I-Pod.  I still cry every time!

The story is set in the 1800 and basically goes like this (according to Wikepedia:)

Marty Claridge had just moved out to the West with her husband Aaron Claridge, who died shortly after. With no other options, she accepted the marriage proposal of widower Clark Davis , who offered her a place to stay for the Winter and provided her with the fare for the wagon train heading back East in the Spring. In exchange, he wanted her to provide a maternal influence for his young daughter Missie . Marty, while expecting her first husband’s baby, is even more in need of a warm place to stay. Still, it is not an ideal arrangement for any of them, and at first Marty and Missie do not get along. Marty will learn much about “Clark’s God” than she ever dreamed, and as the seasons pass, they all start to feel more like a family, and finally Marty and Clark will come to realize they’re in love.

No wonder I cry — good looking guy, Little House on the Prairie setting, a baby being born, romantic angst, and religion too.   It’s the perfect chick-flick (sigh.)

 

Today I took a walk during lunch.  I was only going to walk a block to eat outside in the sunshine.  But once I got outside – I wanted to walk more.  It felt good to walk and feel the sun warm my hair.  I felt the slight soreness in my legs from last nights workout at the gym and the stretch felt good with every stride.   Half way on my way to Gateway (hey – if I’m going to walk – I might as well walk somewhere to shop) I thought “when did I ever love to walk somewhere in the middle of the day when I could be sitting somewhere sipping a Diet Coke?”   I even wanted – no craved – a grilled chicken salad (no crispy noodles and dressing on the side.)  It dawned on me that perhaps I really was changing on the inside.  Slowly I was having the “change of heart” regarding my body and food that I have been praying for and working for.  Perhaps a “change of heart” comes softly too.   Whoah!  I was having an epiphany!  I’ve been waiting for a dramatic change in myself.  Like a big “Alma the Younger” moment where I have an instant change in my behavior, how I view myself, and the world as well as having no desire to sin or eat chocolate cake.  But I think I’m finally getting it — for me change will come softly and maybe a little slowly.

Unfortunately the stress of the afternoon led me to a little binge.   I have been a bit depressed with myself about it but have kept the vilest of the voices of negativity at bay.  They are still there — I feel it –  ready to unleash a mental lashing upon myself like you’ve never seen.  But I won’t let the voices in to play.  They don’t play nice.  After having a little talk with myself I realized it’s been weeks since I have had a “mini sugar binge” to cope.  They used to be daily followed by the obligatory mental lashing.

So I took a step forward today and then a step back – big deal! — The heart is still changing – ever so softly.

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3 responses to “Some Things Come Softly

  1. Erin says:

    I love that you said “big deal” to a small step back. That is HUGE progress. Lots of things come softly I think and the more we are okay with the soft, slow nature of change, the more we allow it to come. Yea you!

  2. Tiffany says:

    I agree. I think the best changes happen softly. I love the way you wrote this, coming full circle. I love that you took a warm afternoon walk. I love that you treated yourself to some fair sugar. Someday you’ll see yourself the way all your friends do. Can’t wait. 🙂

  3. Dani says:

    Amen to Tiffany. I can’t wait until you see the person the rest of us know.

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