Random Thoughts on Scum-Sucking-Hoodlum-Creeps

on July 12, 2007

I did plan on going to work – even got up early to get ready because I had an early meeting that I actually planned and called. My hair is even unusually cute today. But alas — I was distraught to learn that in the night some scum-sucking-hoodlum-creep shot out the back window of my car. I know some people think I live in the ghetto but I kind of like the place I live. Then the SSHC’s just go and ruin my delusional impression I have of my quaint west-side township.

I will be taking in my car to get a new window and since my car’s registration and inspection is due I might as well get that done too. Pray I don’t need new tires. Did I mention I had to buy new brakes and rotors the day I got home from camp 2-weeks ago?

I totally understand that members of the official SSHCA (Scum-sucking-hoodlum-creep-association) sometimes need to let loose their pent up frustrations and have a good ‘ol night on the town committing acts of vandalism. But I now ask — no — I beg — for members of the SSHCA have a little courtesy to plan a little in advance and give us poor, unsuspecting vehicle owners a little forewarning. For instance had one of them dropped me even a short email saying:

Dear unsuspecting victim,

Tomorrow night me and my fellow associates in the SSHCA will be randomly driving in your neighborhood. After much deliberation we feel your cute white car is a perfect target to shoot at, particularly the back window. If this time does not work within your schedule, please get with us immediately so that we can accommodate your needs. We also hope this gives you enough time to call your auto insurance agent and check on your coverage and deductibles for said window. If we don’t hear from you today we’ll assume this time is acceptable for our drive-through random act of violence.

Warmest Regards,
Head Hoodlum
SSHCA

Really — would that have been too much to ask? I could have totally rescheduled the meeting I had for another time. Now I am totally inconvenienced by missing the meeting and leaving it for others to conduct so that I could call the police, get a case number, call my insurance, and arrange for the window replacement.

Sheesh! How about a little common courtesy!!

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One response to “Random Thoughts on Scum-Sucking-Hoodlum-Creeps

  1. Hollers says:

    This totally made me giggle! Wouldn’t life be 100x easier if we got notices on unpleasant things before they happened? Like a pleasant note from my kidney, informing me that a stone is forming and will be passing within the next couple of weeks. Or a head’s up from the germs that managed to infect me, alerting me to the raging cold I’ll be suffering with in just under two weeks? Ahhhh. To be forewarned would be delicious! Give me a little notice if you can get that instituted, so I can plan for it …

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