Lead Kindly Light Harry Potter

on July 23, 2007

Yesterday was the much celebrated day for Muggles. The day that the final Harry Potter book was released to the public. Working in the book world I was aware of the much security surrounding the release of this book. Which translates to “we’ll sue your butts off if you even think about cracking the book open 2 hours before midnight on the 21st of July.” I don’t consider myself a “potter head” because I did not pre-order the book and I did not show up at some store at midnight to get mine. I did, however, purchase the book yesterday morning.

I sat the book on the table for much of the day as I had other chores to do. A friend in the ward had her baby this week and I felt it was a good time to put a deposit in my “Relief Society account” and volunteered to take dinner in to her that night. So I cooked and baked and resisted opening the book. In the late afternoon – my chores were done and i curled up in my room with the book, a fan, and a big Diet Coke. After the first couple pages I was hooked. Now this is a pretty big book and there was no way I would get through it in one night. I did think about staying up all night to read but by midnight I knew that I needed to get some sleep. I couldn’t stand the thought of not knowing what was going to happen. Who was going to die? Would Harry live? Would they kill off Ron and Hermione? Please don’t let them kill Hagrid!

So . . . I did the unthinkable. I skipped ahead and read the last 20 pages of the book. I just had to know. I hate not knowing things. So I read the end and in relief put the book down and went to sleep. I will read the rest of the book. I will want to know how it gets to the end – but the relief of knowing the end put my mind at ease.

Today I was thinking about some of the other questions in my life. Again, i want to know what is going to happen. Will the guy I went out with last week call again? Will I ever lose this excess weight? Will I marry? If I marry, will he have kids? Will I stay at the job I’m in? Will I make more money? I just want to see the end so that I can be less anxious about the middle part – the part I’m in right now.

So as I sat here wishing for the ability to sneak a peak at the next chapter of life, the words to the hymn Lead Kindly Light came to my mind:

Lead, Kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home —
Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene, — one step enough for me.

I felt a little pang of guilt for my impatience. Why isn’t it enough to see clearly the “one step” and not wish for the “distant scene”? I confess, it wasn’t the first time I have skipped to the end of a book. I am also the annoying person in the movie theater that will ask the person I’m with “what happens next?” even if they are seeing the movie for the first time. It makes me crazy to know that if the bishop is being released on Sunday that I don’t know who the next one is. I also used to peek at my Christmas presents early.

I think it’s time I change. Let go of the anxiety and just be happy with what is happening when it’s happening and trust the Lord that He’ll light the way for each step. It’s a big change for me but I think it will do me some good.

Oh, one more thing . . . Harry Potter lives.


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