Be a “Tootsie Roll” With the Punches

on September 10, 2007

Friday night I had a date.  A real date.  Jean Luc called me up and asked me out.  Needless to say I was elated.  I basically advertised this date on Channel 5 News just to be sure that everyone who has ever heard of me knew that I had a date.

Friday I was basically worthless at work.  What would I wear?  Should I wear the new shaper (i.e. girdle) I bought or would it be too hot?  Should I wear the headband or leave my hair down?  So many things to think about and only a mere 12 hours to get ready.  I did leave work early and got my nails done.

Well Jean Luc picked me up about 8:30 and we went to dinner and then drove around aimlessly and talked.  We talked a lot.  Well – mostly he talked.  Not that it was bad – I really think he needed someone to listen to him.  So I heard about how he got active in the Church again at 25 and then went on a mission, how he met his first wife and then their divorce.  How he met his second wife and then their divorce.  The guy seriously did not have good luck with women.  But I did discover that he still has a lot of healing to do.  He’s a dedicated father and I do admire him very much – but he is clearly not in a place for a serious relationship right now.

After the date I realized that I am grateful that Jean Luc and I met.  I’m glad we are friends and I think we will be friends.  I think he’ll call again.  I think I’m here for him to heal a bit and move on and I think he’s there for me to teach me how to date (yes I know I should have learned that at 16 but I’m a slow learner.)  For one thing I feel totally comfortable with him.  I am not paranoid about my weight or if I’ll say something stupid. He treats me like a lady.  I have needed those things.  But I also felt the stab of disappointment that this was not going to be a magical storybook romance.  I have waited 41 years faithfully and been totally committed to the gospel, surely the Lord would grant me this one miracle.

I’m not broken hearted but I think my disappointment has gotten the best of me the last two days because for the first time in weeks I turned to my old friend food for comfort.  So yesterday and today has been filled with pizza and ice cream.  Real ice cream!  Then today I found that my brother had brought home a huge bag of tootsie rolls.  Damn tootsie rolls.  I know they put an addictive substance in them.  Those little chocolate chews are like crack.  So I sit at my computer with a big pile of little wrappers.  I know it’s over – my pity party that is.  It’s time for me to buck up and be a woman.

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3 responses to “Be a “Tootsie Roll” With the Punches

  1. Tiffany says:

    My gosh, you are so wise. And so not broken. Have another Tootsie Roll and pat yourself on the back. I’m glad you will be able to get the benefit of the relationship for what it is right now. You will both be better for it, I’m sure.

  2. Erin says:

    You had a date. It didn’t exactly live up to your expectations. This is SO normal. I say you never know what is ahead. You are being prepared though and that is an exciting prospect.

  3. Laurel says:

    Every bit of this is normal…the disappointment AND the food. I’m sorry your little heart got hurt but you are on your way, DeAnn. The Lord is preparing you and YOU KNOW IT. Let yourself feel sad but don’t let this thing get you. “Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof…” (Ecc 7:8)

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