And God Remembered DeAnn

on October 10, 2007

My very first date was 8 days before my 16th birthday. Not only was it the most awaited day for me since I was 10, but I was also asked out on my first date by Rodney. Rodney just happened to be the boy I had a crush on and who I was sure would make a perfect husband for me right after his mission. I would be his 21 year old bride and life would be perfect. And here I was 16 (almost) and this boy of my dreams asked me out. After checking with my mom (because I wasn’t “technically” 16 yet) I agreed to go on a group date with him to the movies.

As he came to the door to pick me up, it dawned on me that in the previous 4 years of Young Womens lessons I knew exactly what NOT to do on a date, but that I was totally clueless on what to DO on a date. How should I act? Will he want to hold my hand? Does he think I’m fat? Mostly — what on earth do you talk about. I was clueless. On the way to the movie Rodney made it easier for me by doing most of the talking. Only — he spent most of the time talking about Lisa. Argh — my nemesis! She didn’t know she was my nemesis, but she was. Every boy fell hopelessly in love with her beautiful soft eyes and feminine voice. So on the date of my dreams, the boy of my dreams talked about Lisa.

After the very forgettable movie we went to Village Inn for some ice cream. I ordered a delicious Hot Fudge Sundae. When it came to the table Rodney said, “you don’t have to eat it all if you don’t want to.” Of course I wanted to. This was some serious hot fudge here. But now — there was no way I could have more than a couple of bites because then he’d think I was a pig. So I took tiny feminine demure bites. On one of the bites something horrible happened – the tiny rubber-band from my braces came off a bent bracket on my teeth and shot across the table and landed on the other side. What should I do? Well – I did the most feminine thing possible. Without even thinking about it – I picked up the elastic and hooked it all back up in my mouth. When I was done I realized how unfeminine it was to do such a thing at the table. Surely I would never marry Rodney now.

I was right. I didn’t marry Rodney and no offense to him and his cute family, but I’m glad I didn’t. He didn’t marry Lisa either. Thankfully the Lord doesn’t answer every 16 year olds prayers the way they want at the time.

It’s 25 years later since my first date. In those years I had a few successful dates, a marriage proposal, a break up, some dates that are now funny stories, and some very forgetable dates. When I turned 40 I wondered if I would ever have a real relationship. But I had nothing to lose either at that point so I started putting my mental and physical life in order. I also started accepting blind dates. The first blind date was last November. The guy was nice but definately not for me and never called again. But an amazing thing happened that night. Even though I am not petite and still self conscious about my body, that night I felt like, to quote my friend Chief, a “million-damn-dollars”. I felt “good enough” for the first time maybe in forever. It dawned on me that I might actually be able to date. With the support and faith of incredible friends I began to actually hope. With family that loved and prayed for me I also started to believe. Then I dared do what I haven’t dared to do in years and that is pray for the real desires of my heart and my faith started to blossom.

A few months ago I met Jean Luc (Thanks Sister Smiley.) I discovered that I’m not broken and that I can date — 25 years later and I’m finally learning how to date! It completely blows my mind that a cute boy likes me — and actually calls me up to talk. He calls me up to ask me out — ME — the girl with elastics on her braces.

In General Conference last week Elder Condie said the following:

It may at times seem that a loving heavenly father has misplaced his precious promises and put them on hold. Such were the feelings of Rachel. With the passage of time we learn – and god remembered Rachel and she gave birth to joseph.

When heavens promises seem afar off, I pray that each of us will embrace these precious promises and never let go. And just as God remembered Rachel, God will remember you.

I admit I shed a tear or two when I heard this — because I think I can finally say “and God remembered DeAnn.”


6 responses to “And God Remembered DeAnn

  1. Erin says:

    I am sitting at my desk at work, crying over your post. It is beautiful…YOU are beautiful. I just feel happy.

  2. kara says:

    Erin sent me your post. I think she knew that I needed to hear it right now. Thank you. You are wonderful.

  3. hollers says:

    You are a very, very brave little toaster. And a faithful one. And a WONDERFUL one. Since the moment we became friends, I’ve wanted you to see yourself like the rest of us see you (ease up on yourself, girl!). And if it takes some dates to get you to realize it, all the better. You’re marvelous, De! I love you!

  4. Red says:

    I love your post De…I love YOU! I love that you are seeing how God blesses your life… and that God has remembered Deann.

  5. Tiffany says:

    You are amazing and wonderful and beautiful and worthy of all of the happy days that lie ahead. Thanks for sharing this with such humor and honesty. I am so thankful to know you!

  6. Laurel says:

    God remembered DeAnn.
    End of discussion.
    That’s all that needs to be said.
    In the words of my favorite born-again Christian song, “My God is an awesome God!”

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