A Very Special Special

on January 9, 2009

Okay so I played hookey for a half day today.  Totally took some much needed “mental health” time.  I took myself to lunch at Bajios and had a delicious salad (with the wheat tortilla) and then decided to take myself to a movie before heading to the gym.   The movie?  Yes – Twilight!

Truth be told – I didn’t care for the book that much because I thought Bella whined excessively, but I digress.  The first 30 minutes of the movie felt oddly familar to me.  The music, the dramatic close-ups showing Bella and Edwards wanting lips, the acting, and the directing.  Finally it hit me why it all felt so familiar — it reminded me of the After School Specials in the 70’s and 80’s.  (If you want to view a particularly moving After School Special check out Which Mother is Mine starring Melissa Sue Anderson of Little House on the Prairie fame.)

Because these  “special” specials where meant to teach teenagers about relevant social issues I decided that it’s  my responsibility to share what I learned about today’s “After School Special” — Twilight!

  • Tweezers, wax strips, or a very small razor should always be used to tame unnaturally thick and big black eyebrows.  Guys — if you have 2 HUGE black caterpillers above your eyes it’s okay to trim those down.
  • normal_tw_still071Boys should not were red lipstick!  You may try to disguise that by using a lip stain but it’s still not attractive. p-lecjustbitten-lg
  • Girls – you CAN where lipstick or lip stain.  In fact I quite like the  brand, ironically enough called “Just Bitten”.  This is actually very lovely when topped with a clear peppermint gloss.
  • It is okay to date people from different socio-economic backgrounds.  You keep driving that crappy truck while your shiny new boyfriend drives a shiny new Volvo.
  • Even if  you are from different backgrounds, remember that dating as a teenager can be very very dangerous.  It is my suggestion that you not only dress modestly and never kiss on the first date but also for the love of Pete never never DATE A VAMPIRE!!
  • I really mean this about the vampire thing.  You will marry the kind of guy you date and you have NO IDEA how hard it is to work out Thanksgiving dinners with the in-laws.  I mean one year your eating turkey and cranberry sauce with your mom and dad and the next year you will be eating  mom or dad with his mom and dad.  It’s going to be more than awkward — I guarantee that this WILL come between you even though right now you just want to stare at his eyes and lips.

I am sure there is more for me to learn, but I think I’d have to see it a few more times.  But for now I think this “special” After School Special taught me these very important lessons that I shall always keep within my heart.


4 responses to “A Very Special Special

  1. Tasha says:

    Cannot stop laughing! send help please!

  2. girlwhoknits says:

    I loved it too De.

  3. Chism says:

    You hit it right on the nose of teenage vampire love!

    And thanks for the recommendation of the After-School Special… they were the lifetime movies before lifetime!

  4. Vanessa says:

    HAHAHA! You nailed it!

    I felt that Edward was really mean to her throughout the movie. He was acting like a complete jerk and she was still falling for him, like some desperate fool. But I guess in reality that is pretty accurate. I’ve fallen for some real champions.

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