I admit – this is totally a rant.

on July 21, 2009

If I took any of these quotes from your face book — please forgive me.  I won’t put names on them.  They are just some things that friends have posted within the last 24 hours that have caused me to think.

” . . . is sick of having to watch her weight!! How come we all can’t just be skinny and cute without having to sweat our butts off at the gym and living on water and lettuce alone???”

” . . . Is on a fruit and veggie fast.”

” . . . i feel skinny oh so skinny i feel skinny and…..skinny and….uh….SKINNY!! haha. visualization my dear.”

I was also with one of my favorite people yesterday – she is beautiful and in her 20’s.  She is extremely slender — like she weighs maybe 105.  She mentioned that she had gotten fat an was trying to lose weight.

I think of all the times I have thought these same things.  Even when I was thin I felt as fat as I am right now.  Losing weight, thinking about losing weight, and feeling guilty for not losing weight has been my lifelong hobby.  How did all us incredible women get this way?  This place where we have based so much of our worth and success as a human being on what the blasted scale says.  I’m not talking about being healthy and listening to and loving our bodies.  I’m talking about how we as good righteous women still are so full of angst and dissatisfaction with our bodies.  I’m one of them.  I battle that mindset but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being one of them.

This morning on Face book an acquaintance who somehow ended up being listed as a “friend” posted this on his account:

“. . . is so glad that all the attractive girls FLOCK to the city of XXXX. Thank goodness there aren’t a bunch of single heffers desperate to find a husband roaming around town. Man! That would be awful if that were the case. Phew!!”

I read this before starting work this morning.  I’m still angry.  Not because he’s a guy who is attracted to thin women – that’s totally his right.  It’s that his attitude (that he obviously has no reservations sharing) is exactly part of the problem of why so many women are in this lifelong battle with their body, weight, and self worth.  It’s the judgment that a women who is overweight has less worth than their slender sisters.  And who is it that defines what a “heffer” (uhhh spelled “heifer” – spell your insults correctly please) is?  In the minds of some of some of my amazing friends who are zipping their size 4 jeans – it’s them.   It’s also in the minds of those who are putting on size 12 and even size 20.   Many sizes – same issues.

I call for a rebellion against this attitude wherever it is.  I call for loving who we are – right now.  I call for nourishing and nurturing ourselves and letting our bodies go to it’s normal and healthy weight.   That doesn’t mean binging and drowning ourselves in unhealthy foods.  It also doesn’t mean restricting ourselves from everything until we are totally obsessed and in a no-win battle against ourselves.  It doesn’t mean giving up exercise.  It does mean respecting who we are and standing up against the unhealthy messages that bombard us.  It means letting go of even giving ourselves those same unhealthy messages.  Our bodies and spirits make our soul.  It’s time we started nourishing and respecting both.


5 responses to “I admit – this is totally a rant.

  1. Erin says:

    Wow. Amen DeAnn. Amen.

  2. Your “friend” acquaintance sounds pretty darn shallow! (BTW, I don’t care for how facebook equalizes all acquaintances to the same single shallow level of “friendness”… I mostly only use FB when someone sends me a friend request & I accept it.)

    In my book there are a lot of more important things than physical appearance–things that tend to be a lot more difficult to change than mere weight.

    For example (not necessarily in any particular order other than that they all would come above physical appearance IMO): kindness, wit, thoughtfulness, resourcefulness, virtuousness, intelligence, loyalty, spirituality, charity, determination, work ethic, etc.

    I totally married above myself (as you know). Maybe I’d have had more competition if so many men weren’t as insipidly shallow as they are? Their loss was definitely my gain! 🙂

  3. Laurel says:

    i don’t care that i’m in the middle of my work morning.
    YOU were born to start this “rebellion”, my dear.
    Lead the way.
    We’re following.


  4. Tasha says:

    I am in on the revolution.

    Maybe Laurel can come up with a clever text for it ;o)

    You know I am no good at that, but I can give you a great list of scriptures.

  5. Cassidi says:

    I am with you lady! And just to add to your rant: went clothes shopping and saw all the size zero pants. Come on! If you don’t even get a number, you shouldn’t be able to buy clothes. I think next time I am going to take a Sharpie and add a 1 and an extra 0 to all the tags.

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