The Facebook In My Head

on August 5, 2009

It seems that I have a running face-bookish commentary running through my head.  I notice the things I am doing and then translate them into short sentences that may or may not be interesting.  I also noticed I am starting to think of myself in third person.  I made this discovery today on my way home from work.  If my computer were reading my thoughts this is what my facebook status would be saying:

DeAnn, tired from a day at work decides that she should go shopping.

DeAnn calls her mom to see if she needs anything.

DeAnn’s mom needs milk.

DeAnn notices the school supply display at the store entrance and her heart beats faster as she sees bins full of pens, scissors, rulers, glue, colored pencils, and post-it pads.

DeAnn remembers that the Relief Society is collecting school supplies for the Humanitarian Center school bags and feels justified in buying 5 scissors and 5 packs of colored pencils.

DeAnn wonders if store has mu mu’s.

DeAnn see’s ridiculously cute pink pajamas and decides she must have them even though she doesn’t need them.

DeAnn wonders if flavored sparkling water is better for her than soda and puts some in her cart.

DeAnn puts more fresh blueberries in her cart and realizes how fond she has become of fresh blueberries.

DeAnn puts bag of dark chocolate covered pomegranate pieces in her cart because it’s full of antioxidents and she is concerned about her health and getting enough antioxidents.

DeAnn acknowledges that the last sentence is an example of total denial because those pomegrate pieces dipped in dark chocolate really just looked deliciously good.

DeAnn sees baby clothes on clearance sale.  She knows 3 people with babies and decides that she has no choice but to buy baby clothes.

DeAnn is having serious shopping compulsions today.

DeAnn is taking her purchases to her car and is approached by man selling tamales.  She politely declines and wonders who would actually buy tamales from a guy in the parking lot.

DeAnn notices that she has had a running facebook commentary in her head and wonders if she should call her therapist.

DeAnn is now home and puts on ridiculously cute pink pajamas with teeny black polka dots, pours herself some sparkling lemon water (over ice with a slice of lime) and realizes that the commentary in her head is just way to much for facebook.

DeAnn smiles to no one in particular because she realizes – she has a blog.

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8 responses to “The Facebook In My Head

  1. Laurel says:

    quite possibly my favorite of your posts
    ever.

  2. girlwhoknits says:

    Okay, not fair. I was about to say exactly what Laurel said. Seriously, best post ever.

  3. Tasha says:

    this post needs a hazard warning…
    I laughed so much… well you know!

    Love you!

  4. DeeAnn says:

    You are the BEST! Have I mentioned before that I think you should write a book???

  5. Heather says:

    I have noticed myself doing that too. Do you think we might be related?

  6. Becky says:

    this was awesome! I heart you! Thanks for making my day in so many ways!

  7. Cassidi says:

    So hilarious. I think I will print this post and read it whenever I’m having a bad day or need to smile. You crack me up!! I’m so glad there are truly funny people in the world like you. You are the queen of funny!

  8. Heide says:

    I love you! you make me smile when I don’t think I will for a long long time. Thank you!

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