And The Winner Is . . .

on September 1, 2009

At the beginning of the summer I posted things that I thought were the best.  Check that out here if you like.  Well not to be a negasaurus or anything but clearly if there is the “best” there must also be the worst.  So here are the winners of my personal “Worst Things Ever” contest.

The Worst Accent In a Movie

Winner:  Drew Barrymore in Ever After

Is the accent French?  English?  Yes it’s a lov-er-ly story.  Yes it’s romantic but come on — she talks like she has a speech impediment.

The Worst Chore I Ever Had to Do

Winner:  Cleaning the grease trap in the kitchen at Oakcrest.

Don a towel around you nose, rubber gloves, and a bucket just in case.  Scooping out the molding greasy gray lumpy water . . .  totally disgusting.

The Worst Blind Date

Winner:  Jay – Former Companion of a Co-Worker 1987

We doubled with his parents to his Stake Gold and Green Ball.  I believe his mother held the brain for the entire family.  As we entered the restaurant she told me she didn’t have any teeth but was getting implants and so she only had 2 screws in her mouth.  She then smiled and showed me — Sure enough — all gums and 2 screws right where Dracula’s fangs would be.  No worries — she gummed down her food AND kept up the conversation.

The Worst Hair Style I Ever Had

Winner:  The Permed Mullet

My senior year of highschool.  It was 1984 and IT was in style at the time.

The Worst Episode of the Brady Bunch

Winner:  Her Sisters Shadow

This episode featured the famous quote “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia”.  Jan whined a lot.  So your older sister was perfect.  At least you weren’t that tattle-tale Cindy!

The Worst Place to Get a Zit

Winner:  Just Right Inside the Very Edge of Your Nose

Admit it — just thinking about this makes your eyes tear up.

Okay those are the winners for this year.  Stay tuned next year for all new categories like Worst Handshake, Worst Embarrassing Moment that Wasn’t Mine But I Witnessed, and Worst Actor Not Even Trying to Have an Accent in a Movie set in England.

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2 responses to “And The Winner Is . . .

  1. DeeAnn says:

    You crack me up! I have to hear more about this blind date…I think you have me beat!

    The nose zit is DEFINITELY the worst place to have one!

    I am laughing so hard that Lucy wants to know what I am laughing about. Keep it up Hansen!

  2. Laurel says:

    just for the record, i love this post.
    i love it.

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