Lack of Writing

on February 11, 2011

I have been avoiding writing lately.  I know I have.  My journal entries have been short because I simply have “nothing more to say.”  My blogging has been sporadic too  because again  – “nothing to say”.  But if I am being completely honest with myself –  it may be more that I’m afraid what will come out if I start writing.  I’m trying to be “positive” so I think I stopped writing just to make sure that no pain comes pouring out my fingers through my laptop and on to the screen.

“Loneliness” is a word that sounds pathetic and yet deep in my heart it’s often what I feel. But to admit it is to be the “old maid” pining for a life that was not mine or at least in the timetable I imagined it.  But I think that the “loneliness” is not just a feeling of a single woman.  There are times when every woman has a heart that aches for something that just can’t quite be named.  It’s that hole that can only be filled by Divinity.

Sometimes I think that our Father allows us to feel that deep longing and emptiness so that when He fills and heals (and He will)  – it leaves absolutely no doubt who is holding our aching spirit in a heavenly embrace.

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held

(Natalie Grant)

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2 responses to “Lack of Writing

  1. Laurel says:

    love that Natalie Grant.
    and love YOU!

  2. tikenmoose says:

    I totally agree – you can feel lonely even when you are surrounded by people. Thank goodness we have the knowledge we do!

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